Christmas

Cool! We made it! A germ free, rash free, virus free Christmas 2010!!
Herbie really got into the swing of the festivities :)
So my attention turns to 2011...
My wishes:
1) Herbie stays healthy & strong and continues to progress well
2) We manage a healthier year all round in our family and with our friends (a special Hugo mention here :) )
3) No new babies/pregnancies just 'living at last'...this is what it's about. To me the pregnancy/new baby bit is a means to an end. I want the children not the pregnancy excitement/attention/accomplishment. Almost anyone can have a baby one way or another, give birth etc but being a good parent, that doesn't come easily to everyone, coping with being a parent doesn't come easily to everyone...these are the real tests...that is the bit I relish! Bring it on...2011, our year of two 8 year olds, one 3 year old and one 2 year old...whoohoo! I can't wait! :) Just promise me no more BIG illness.

Happy Christmas & happy new year...may your dreams for 2011 come true x

hospital visit again

I last wrote about the rash, the swabs etc...the following day the rash looked bad so I took him back to the GP to take up the offer of antibiotics. Dr Santos again...he wasn't happy with any of it, called the Paeds at the JR, they remembered Herb! Can you believe that!? They wanted us to go there straight away. Dr Santos was calm but he said take an overnight bag as you are likely to be in for 48 hours whilst he has intravenous antibiotics :(
I am sure I don't have to write here exactly how I was feeling at that thought! I went home, got a bag and went to the JR. I had to go alone. Dan was flat out at work and my Dad stayed with Kitty (who was also off school ill) and Rufus. Herbie was miserable. After a very long wait we were seen. The Paed said it was a Strep A skin infection, gave me an antibiotic and said try it at home first, if it doesn't work and reduce rash in 2.5 days it would be original plan. Came home, yesterday wasn't great at all but by about 11am today he really perked up. Eating, laughing, chatting, dancing, no fever since dr visit. the GP called on Weds eve to say they had also found the chicken pox virus and cold sore virus in the swab so he needed antivirals too :( God he hates them, they are a nightmare to get in him. So by 5pm today the rash was almost gone! I was elated. Then at 6.30pm I got him ready for bed and low and behold ... rash back!!! GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
PLEASE>>>>GIVE US A BREAK

Ok...enough now...

My last post was all about the rash , conjunctivitis & impetigo that Herbie had. It eventually went away and we had a week and a half (whoohoo!) with nothing. (Well I was ill and so was Dan but the kids were good!). Then suddenly another rash that spread very quickly. Another trip to the doctor, 2 nurses and a GP looked at him and took throat swabs and a swab of part of the rash that was a bit infected. I left with two tubs of aveeno cream and a bottle of Piriton. **sigh**
So a week down the line the rash is still growing/spreading, the old bits have dried up. The infected bit gone. He is now full of cold, very grumpy and not himself. My GP called tonight to say the swabs showed infection and if he still had infected rash he could have antibiotics, I guess he has fought it off himself!
I am fed up of this though...enough now...please...

Hallowe'en bats, conjunctivitis, impetigo and more...

So seriously, just how much more can my poor little chap take??? As Halloween approached I thought back a year when the whole 'year of sickness began'. He threw up at a friend's Halloween celebration and it kind of went from there! So this year it was fab to see a very healthy, very cheeky and a very happy vampire bat winging his way around the Halloween party stuffing himself full to bursting with hot dogs and cake. Of course he wasn't completely free...he did have a rash...yes another post viral one...covering every part of his body! He was happy enough! (and totally covered in his costume so that paranoid parents didn't see it and insist that he was quarantined! ;)
Such things are short lived for my Small at the moment it seems...just a few days in to November and he has a diagnosis of conjunctivitis...nothing serious but obviously annoying and infectious and he was also given cream for two small red spots on his chin. Wierdly they had arrived very suddenly and just as suddenly they spread and soon his face, fingers, hands and one ear were covered in revolting crusty ulcers that quite frankly made him look like he had the plague! It was indeed the delightful and highly contagious impetigo. Again he wasn't at all bothered by it...infact he was most distressed at having to take his revolting smelling/tasting antibiotic four times a day!
It was worth it though..my scabby fella is looking cute and handsome again.
Today I recieved my Meningitis Trust newsletter in the post and decided to have a little flick through with a cup of tea. I read an article about a couple, Judi & Richard Mills, who had lost their 4th and youngest child Harry to meningitis on 26th April 2007 (my birthday!). I found myself staring at the lovely picture of the handsome 11 year old whose life was taken so suddenly and tragically by the evil meningitis that tried to take my baby too. He looked so happy. I had to go and watch Herbie, who was having his nap, just stare at him and thank my lucky stars that he was able to beat it. The article just seemed to have so many 'small & to others no doubt insignficant connections to us'...youngest of 4 children, a boy, treated at the John Radcliffe hospital, died on my birthday and his love of sport encouraged his parents to also fundraise for The Youth Sport Trust where my sister in law works and which is currently fighting for its own survival after the recent spending review. So many similarities and yet one fundamental difference...I have my Small but the Mills family don't have Harry...I shed tears for them today...I can't begin to imagine the void in their lives. http://www.meningitis.org/book-of-experience/harry-mills-25156

A tragedy, a virus, a rash & a visit to the doctor :(

I want to start this entry with a thank you...a thank you to every single medical person involved in Herb's recovery. I think this thought EVERY day but rarely voice it or write it down. The reason I am prompted to do this is the memory of being close to losing him has been dragged back to the forefront of my mind this week with the tragic loss of a friend's son in a car accident. I looked at Herbie and thought it probably felt like only yesterday that Jackie would have been watching her son Sid as a 1 yr old and now he's gone. Life is so fragile and the line so fine. My thoughts are with Jackie, David, Grant, Marshall & Hannah xxx

This week Herbs has been under the weather & by Tuesday he had a rash & seemed irritable. UGH...it's so worrying. By Friday he was better but the rash was worse so we called to see the Dr. Thank god the duty Dr was Dr Santos...the best GP ever. He is so thorough (even though at times he gives so much info it's scary). He printed a copy of Herbs blood culture results from the Meningitis and also a letter 'just incase' anything got worse to show the next dr who saw him explaining the importance of quick action. He reiterated that Herb's immune system will take a year to recover and gave me powdered amoxcillyn in case he needed immediate antibiotics over the weekend...he covers every base!

Herb's is rashy but happy. Dr S said it was a virus, Kitty has the same, sore throat, coldy symptoms. I am sure he will be fine but it's another wake up call to how ill he was earlier in the year. dr S commented on his fantastic recovery!

teeth or lack of them

So Herbie is now 20 months and still has 6 teeth at the bottom and 4 at the top. These are pretty weak and feeble teeth too. Poor little man. The others had loads of teeth by now. So I wondered is it the Meningitis?? I gave in to my nagging mind and called my HV Paula who I actually like (so many people moan about theirs). She totally put my mind at ease about it all.
As for the talking...well we have a few more words although I am sure only his nearest and dearest would understand them.
We got a Thank You card this week from the staff at the PHDU for all of the things we got with the fundraising £'s. Hana, the nurse who gave him the most care, has left to travel. I felt sad that other children (and parents) won't benefit from her being there. The others were fab too but she was the one that left an imprint, if you know what I mean.
So as we head into Autumn I feel like we are getting nearer the closing chapters of 2010 and I hope that in 2011 we look back on the nightmare without the awful feelings of panic and horror that we still feel now.
Anyone with an i-phone can download a signs and symptoms app for meningitis now, free of charge. I have it on my i-pod. I think it's great but hope I never have to use it!

Herbie LOVES camping!

Wow he was in his element! Free as a bird, running around the fields, on the beach. To think that I wondered if he would remember how to walk a few months ago! Tomorrow is his 2nd hearing appointment...praying that all is well, no hearing loss, glue ear gone. Be nice to have a few more words and a little less shouting!

Wobbles, Meningitis research & Camping!

We are pretty close to our camping holiday now...we really need a break from the norm as do our friends who we are going with. Should be fun...7 kids (3 seven yr olds, a 5 yr old, 2 two yr olds & a 1 yr old) , 4 adults, 2 tents lots of food & drink & hopefully sunshine!
The loss of the dummy during the day only had one blip...yesterday when poor Herbie fell down a step in the garden straight onto his nose :( many tears, blood and screaming which only 'dumdumdoody' can soothe. Other than that it's been plain sailing. He definitely is a little unsteady on his feet...not sure if this is linked to the meningitis or glue ear!
There was excitement over the news of a possible breakthrough in Meningitis research linking it to a certain gene that makes peoples immune systems more susceptible. With Dan having had two different cancers by the age of 21 and then his son having bacterial meningitis it makes you wonder...it also makes me worry that they could both be at risk again...
See you on the other side of the camping holiday!

Summer holidays, dummy cold turkey & speech

It's been nearly 4 months since we left the JR post Meningitis & Herbie is a normal 18 month old now. He is a real climber and a bit of a dare devil at times which frightens the life out of me. I'd rather not be in A & E with him ever again ;) The main problem we have encountered since the 3 week stay has been his reliance on a dummy for comfort. He used one loads before but during his illness he seemed to have it permanently attached! So 5 days ago I took the decision to remove it during the day. What a trooper he has been! Really no issues at all. Our main worry was his lack of vocabulary. By now his siblings were talking really well but Herbie grunts alot. Even in the last few days we have noticed how much more he 'chatters' and a couple of new words! Ofcourse it is totally feasible that his 'glue ear' is causing the problems not the dummy but we'll soon know!
Fingers crossed he continues to make progress.

10K run for meningitis

The day finally arrived for my sister (left in pic) and two of my sisters in law, Lucy & Wend (R to L). The Meningitis Trust ASICS 10K run in London. All sporting t shirts bearing the name of my precious boy, Herbie, they ran to raise money for The Meningitis Trust. The idea came about the first week that Herbie went into hospital back in March and now they have done it! We are so proud of them! Thanks to you all...WE LOVE YOU xxxx

:(

I hate this...our friend's son has Leukemia, he's 5. We are understandably devasted by this news and worried about the whole family. We have spent evenings just discussing what they are going through, the pain and uncertainty. It's seem selfish that it has stirred up emotions in Dan and I that have only just gone under, but are close to the surface, when we should just be thinking of them. I keep watching Herbie and reliving some of the worst moments...I have to remind myself how bad things were at times. The JR hospital, Children's Wards, are some of the best in the country...they will cure my little train loving buddy just like they did our Herbster...I just want to wave a wand so that it's done now for all of them :(

spots and memories

It's been a while and lots has happened. Herbie has been doing well, running about, being amusing and generally in good health. Then with an outbreak of Chicken Pox (the one thing we were told to avoid) we tried hard to avoid them.
Herbsie had his MMR finally after all of the delays and was a good boy, then 6 days after he had a fever and 14 days later woke with a rash that covered his whole body! A measles rash! Poor spotty boy...
We are also trawling through our memories of our time in hospital with Herbie as good friends of ours are in with their 5 year old who is ill with no diagnosis! Being a parent is so damn hard on the soul at times, thank goodness children are also the best tonic!

More Fundraising

Only 6 weeks until my sister & two of my sister in laws do the 10K run for The Meningitis Trust. My nephew's infant school just raised over £500 for the PHDU at the JR and I have to go and spend the cake sale money on the wish list items asap. I guess as summer arrives the fundraising will end and this period of our lives will be put behind us. We are glad about that, it's time to look forward.
We did have a taste of summer with some glorious weather a few weeks ago and this gave me an opportunity to play with my 4th love (family, job, music being 1,2 & 3), my camera!
As far as Herbalicious and his recovery...well he has glue ear, not caused by the meningitis but probably the initial cold virus. He is still very snotty! Back to the hospital in August to check his ears again. His sleeping pattern is back to normal and he goes to bed without tears now. He walks most places now and is back to be a total monkey.
It is 10am on day 5 of the Spring holiday and he has only been up since 8am but has managed to break a cup, tip his breakfast on the floor and empty the cereal cupboard! The hardest part is the joy you feel seeing him do these 'ordinary' things knowing that a few months ago you wondered if he would make it, let alone cause toddler havoc! I know that I shouldn't be soft on him...he is a normal toddler now, 17 months old and into mischief!

Fund raisers, walking and tears

So we made the local rag & the cake sale & the community coffee morning fund raisers were a great success. Thanks in the main to all of my fab family & friends who baked and helped out. £307 raised!! Woooohooo!! It rounds off this whole 'meningitis episode' nicely for me. I feel like we have helped raise awareness and £'s for research & others.

It's so wonderful to be on this side of the illness but for so many this side never happens :(

I happened upon a programme on BBC 1 last week about a medical team and there was an 18 month old on there being admitted in a coma with meningitis. I sobbed the whole way through it...the emotions which on a daily basis seem so under control were suddenly unleashed and wild! I relived every moment with the parents of 'Freddie' and felt the ups and downs of the emotional roller coaster on which they travelled, just as we had a few short weeks ago.

So what about Herbs, my little trooper, well once again my baby has learnt to walk, twice now in his short 16 months here on Earth. Heck some babies don't manage to do it once in that time. He amazes me every day with his recovery.

WALK WALK WALK!

As the title suggest this is top of Herbie's priorities at the moment. He has walked quite a long way now but often he stands, does 5 or 6 steps and collapses. He just wants to practise though. We often catch him just standing there and clapping too. I am a little sad at time though when I think that had he not caught meningitis he would have been a confident walker by now and more independent. Still he is not far off. A lovely day spent celebrating our nephew's 6th birthday & a visit from the newspaper photographer which was surprisingly calm! Roll on another week.

Newspapers and photographers

What a week! Elections, hung parliament, school closed for 2 days (bank holiday & a polling station). The most exciting thing has been the interest by the local newspaper in Herbie's story and the girlie's fund raising cake sale! We have the local press photographer arriving tomorrow to get a picture of all 4 kiddos to go alongside the article. Lily & Kitty are beside themselves with excitement and I am left wondering if Herbie & Ru will 'play ball' or go wild with independence! Time will tell.

First week of work over...

Went back to work this week. My class of 29 year 1's were so lovely and gave me a very warm welcome. The staff were great too. The normality felt refreshing but I did miss my Smallie and Ru as well as my big girls. Being a working mum is never easy but if you enjoy your job, get satisfaction from it and know your children are happy with those looking after them it makes it bearable and at times really enjoyable!

Herbie continues to make daily progress. More steps , more interaction, more food!! Less separation anxiety (finally this week we can put him to bed awake and leave him to go to sleep). Ru is now totally potty trained at 2 years and 4 months...he's a clever chap and has been really easy to train.

So we are now into a Bank Holiday Weekend and really looking forward to time with friends and family...rain or no rain!

Best birthday present ever

Today was my birthday and what a great day it was. We had Herbie's first hospital follow up appointment at the John Radcliffe Hospital since he left over 3 weeks ago. Meningitis is still so very much in our minds as are those three awful weeks when he was in hospital. It was odd returning and so many memories and emotions were stirred up. We talked about how Dan felt as he arrived in the ambulance with a lifeless Herbie and how frightened we were during the first few days. To look at him today you wouldn't begin to comprehend how ill he was. We saw his consultant Dr Shelly Segal. She was thrilled with his recovery. We honestly can't thank her and her team enough...what a fantastic Dr she is. She said she would see him in 6 months if needed!! Then he would be discharged. She also said it was NOT the HIB meningitis as originally thought but that they would now never actually know which strain it was...who cares, he's well again!

To top it all he took more unaided steps in the hospital waiting room.

Tonight we went out for a meal. The two of us just talked through the whole illness, hospital stay again...

To talk is to heal :) What a great day.

He took steps!

The title says it all! Herbie stopped walking on March 10th 2010...he took his first unaided steps today, over 45 days later! It was only a few steps, a few times but they were so significant! We are back to the hospital tomorrow to see his consultant and I am actually quite excited because he is such a different child to the one they last saw at the hospital 3 weeks ago! When he arrived home he had been in hospital for 17 days being treated for bacterial meningitis. He couldn't sit for long without support, he slept loads & he cried a lot too. Now he is back to his tricks, cheeky as ever and almost walking again! I'm not adding much more today...this is enough...it's what matters. Big smiles here all round :)

They grow up so fast...

My 7 year old twins have gone to their first sleepover birthday party tonight. I miss them and they are only just down the road :( When did they grow up? How did those 7 years go by so quickly? When you hold your first born in your arms for the first time you can't imagine them being a toddler, talking, going to school and suddenly they are doing it all! Suddenly , 7 years on, I am worrying about how quickly they will be driving, sleeping over at friends houses and oh so many other things that I can't bring myself to even type! Once a parent you are changed forever.

Rufus didn't like them being away either...he's a sensitive soul :)

We have had a great few days. Rufus is now potty trained at 2 years & 4 months, my little boy is also changing so rapidly. I see what all of the people who were parents before me meant when they told me to cherish every moment with them and NEVER to wish my own or their lives away. Immerse yourself in every stage of their development, however trying it may seem and most of all fill their days with happiness as they fill yours. A friend recently posted this on her Facebook status...

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strength."

They are so right...

Road to recovery

When do you know that your recovery is well and truly complete? Herbie is probably 95% back to the old Herbie, pre meningitis. I watched with a warm heart as he played with Rufus today, babbling away and then the two of them singing and doing the actions to Wind the bobbin up!

I sleep well at night even though he is now back in his cot in his own room. We need to get him back to being put up to bed awake, something he was very good at before he was ill.

Monday we have his first consultant appointment at the JR hospital. I have no idea what to expect but as it's my birthday that day I hope that the appointment will be positive! Then on Wednesday it's back to work for me!

My sister and 2 of my sisters in law are running a 10K run in London to raise money for the meningitis trust and my twins are holding a cake sale to raise money for the PHDU at the JR.

So much of our day to day lives at the moment still revolves around what happened and I am retelling the story at least 3 or 4 times a day!!

Life is returning to normal but not an hour goes past without a reminder of what happened...

Days like these

A short piece today. Another fabby day with just my boys (all 3!). Girls at school then to Grandma's for tea! The weather makes life so much more enjoyable. Herbie went on the swings for the first time since being unwell and he giggled so much. It was great. The biggest excitement though was when I caught him standing holding a toy, and not holding on or leaning against anything...he seemed oblivious to my elation! We are getting closer to walking...I just know it. 4 days until World Meningitis Day. I can't believe that this time last year, in fact this time 6 weeks ago, I wouldn't have known it existed.

Back on my feet

Back on my feet but still need a little help :)

4 became 2 for a few hours

So back to school for my older children today...the first time since we were reunited. I was surprised by Ru's reaction (my 2 year old) who cried and said 'No Lily & Kitty gool...please...make them come a home'. Perhaps he was as unsettled as I was by the first separation since we returned from hospital? The girls however couldn't wait to get there. School life for 7 year old girls involves lots of gossiping and planning, they had much to do! There were the new haircuts to show off, the celebrity little brother to parade to friends now he is out of hospital, brand new shoes and holiday escapades to recount. All this AFTER copious amounts of hugging and jumping up and down excitedly as they were reunited with best friends.

What milestones today? Herbie spent his first night in his own cot in his own room since being ill. It wasn't as bad as I feared and I didn't even have to get up to him in the night! 7pm-6.30am...almost back to normal! He did lots of cruising of the furniture and there was a look in his eye that seemed to say 'I want to walk...I will soon'. His strength is returning and so is his confidence but my favourite thing is to see him returning to his sociable self. He is smiling at other people more readily and waving at passers by. He held out his arms to Grandpa to take him for a cuddle which I know warmed Grandpa's heart!

Todays biggest fear? That it will happen to one of my other children, that meningitis will strike twice...I try to push the thought to the back of mind but it keeping popping out unexpectedly, like an old jack in box :(

The sun is shining, all is right with our world at last

There are days when life with my children & husband is so idyllic that I want to burst! Today is such a day, a day I wanted to spend just with them and so we did! We've shopped a little, watched the narrow boats lazing on the canal, eaten heartily and just enjoyed one another's company. My camera hasn't stopped snapping!

It's a far cry from 5 weeks ago (Mother's Day) when we were torn apart by an ambulance arriving around 6am to take our youngest, 14 month old Herbie, to hospital where he was urgently treated for bacterial meningitis. If your child has ever been whisked from your arms by a paramedic as you screamed hysterically after them you'll have some idea of what I went through that morning, if not I hope you never ever do.

Meningitis ... what do you think of? Rash? The tumbler test? Loss of limbs? Death?

None of these, thankfully, feature in our tale. (which you can read here...http://www.meningitis.org/book-of-experience/herbie-taylor-36892). Meningitis hit us like a free rolling truck and dragged us along for almost 3 weeks before finally letting us go. Our 3 other children, 7 year old twins Lily & Kitty and 2 year old Rufus were split up, living with our respective parents and we ate and slept in the walls of the hospital.

So today we feel like we were almost the family we were BEFORE meningitis. I say almost because Herbie is still not walking (he was before) but he's cruising again. We will also never truly be the same family...it's changed us despite the happy outcome. For a start I'm blogging...here is where I will note things about our family as we leave the Meningitis detour and head out back on our journey .